Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.
“A door stuck shut is as bad as a door stuck open.”
What we need is one with good hinges and a proper latch; then we need a wise keeper of that door, who chooses those that will be let in.
Next, there needs to be a mistress or master of the house, who determines where a guest may go.
Is this someone who may sit in the living room, but will need to ask permission to use the bathroom?
Or perhaps this person may be in the dining room and kitchen as well, and may use the facilities without asking.
Only the closest of friends and family might go into a bedroom, but would never look in drawers or closets.
Then there is the very small circle of spouse, intimate friend and immediate family who are allowed anywhere.
So it is with boundaries: Healthy ones mean that we allow people closer as trust indicates the propriety of such actions.
Relationships happen in degrees. They also develop over time.
Some people will always be the “guest who sits in the living room and must ask permission to use the bathroom.”
Others will become closer and be trusted with deeper parts of our souls.
Is your doorkeeper on duty? Is the master or mistress at home? Appreciate them; treat them well; let them do their jobs.
I invited you,
At least I thought I did;
But you kept telling me, “no,”
And now I have moved away.
So what has happened?
Did I misunderstand?
Sometimes I don’t trust myself
To know what is me or not.
I looked for a friend;
I looked for ways to join,
But now I find myself here,
Misunderstood and alone.
What could I have done?
Self doubt shouts in my heart.
I tried to be as you want;
I tried to remake myself.
Now I stand confused;
My self lost and broken.
Do I keep inviting you?
Or let go and walk away?
Troubles me day and night.
I could have…but I did try;
I wrestle until I know.
And so my struggle
Continues as I mourn
What might have been or could be.
I will heal and try again.