Tag Archive | relationships

Setbacks

How often, it seems, we take two steps forward and one step back.  There are even occasions when we seem to relapse altogether.

Don’t be discouraged when this happens, okay?

“Yeah,” you scoff, “you don’t know how serious this is or how hard it is to turn around.”

But I do.

Anybody who lives any length of time at all has had a few setbacks:  That slip into an old habit or addiction that really knocks you off your feet.

The secret:  Get up, dust yourself off and move forward again.

Dusting yourself off means to forgive, learn from your mistakes and the circumstances that contributed to your setback.

Move forward means take one step at a time back to wellness – toward sobriety or eating… You already know because you’ve done it before.

Next, take hope in this:  Every time you move forward from a setback, you are stronger:  That particular trap won’t get you again!

My Home

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OR

Being at home in my self

The home in which I live
Is simple and clean,
Most of the time, that is.
If you’re living at all,
You know what I mean:
There are always improvements,
Chores to be done;
Rearranging of furniture,
Fixing this thing and that one…
It seems something is always amiss!

I’ve learned to be at peace
In this home of mine.
Most of the time, that is.
If you’re being at all,
We are of one mind:
There is always new learning,
Wounds to be healed,
Discoveries of every nature,
Knowing how to love and feel;
Such is being at home like this.

How Is Your Diet?

714px-Breakfast_in_the_Garden,_Frieseke

A friend of mine was sharing that he is on a negativity fast.  This entails checking himself every time he starts to think in a way that brings him down.

One secret to his fast is taking care to avoid news and conversations that feed his mind with sorrow, fear, anger, gossip or distress.

This raises a very important question for each of us:  What are you eating these days?  You could apply this to your physical diet, but I’m after your soulful one.  The music, stories, movies, news and conversations that we take in have a direct impact on how we think and feel.  All of this in turn affects our physical well being.

I do find that an occasional “fast” is very good for our souls.  That might mean skipping a rather dark movie or show, choosing some gentle music or avoiding newscasts for a couple of days.  It also means finding a quiet moment each day to pray or meditate.  It’s amazing how a little time to reflect and ponder wil detox us!

Then there are the positive things that build us up:  Time with a good friend who encourages us; conversations that spark new ideas; sermons, books and music that inspire.

One of my sisters finds that art refreshes her; another likes books.  I like playing and listening to music.  A neighbor and I both agree that our gardens are the best “prayer closets.”
What is your preference?
Walking
music
cooking
books
movies
sewing
scrapbooking
gardening
sports
writing
other?  (You get the idea, yeah?)

One thing I have learned:  Choosing your soulful diet takes as much determination and clarity as choosing your physical diet does.  It is at least as important:  Wellness is built from the inside out.

Bien provecho….bon appetit…enjoy!

Deeper Knowing

winding_stream_banff_national_park_alberta_canadaI have heard a quote more than once:
“Be a river, not a reservoir.”

Truthfully, I think we are rivers, whether we acknowledge it or not.  We are ever growing and changing; things that fit before don’t now; we are always searching.

I am in one of those times of evaluation and revision.  One major reason for this is, circumstances are changing:  There are matters of privacy and involvement to consider that were not all that important before.

Another reason:  I am discovering new aspects of myself that need exploration and development.  I have questions to ask, ideas to ponder and whole areas of quandary on which to shed light, such as wants and dreams I can feel, but can’t articulate; like being hungry for something and not knowing what it is.

Thinking of life and ourselves as rivers is encouraging to me:  By nature, streams flow through different landscapes, eddy and swirl, run shallow, then deeper.  They are fluid; they start as small trickles that become larger.  Some develop into mighty rivers that carry ships and barges; others meander through forests and meadows.  Each one is just as valid and important.

It is also a given that a river is never fully known, no matter how many times someone visits it.  We’re that way; it’s okay because that is how we are meant to be.

Flow, river of my life;
As you travel through each circumstance,
growing and morphing into your next self,
May I delight in discovery and deeper knowing.

Christmas

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Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it ‘white’.
Bing Crosby

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
Roy L. Smith

“Maybe Christmas,” the Grinch thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”

Dr. Seuss

The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.
Alice Cooper

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
Andy Rooney

Expectancy is the atmosphere for miracles.
Edwin Louis Cole
Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
Alexander Smith

God never gives someone a gift they are not capable of receiving. If he gives us the gift of Christmas, it is because we all have the ability to understand and receive it.
Pope Francis

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
Charles Dickens

Don’t let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.
Taylor Caldwell

May you have the grace, strength and imagination to make this the best Christmas you ever had.

Me

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER ALMOST MADE

I met him at the swimming pool;
He invited me to share his lane.
His favor seemed so cool
Offered without seeking gain.

 

He seemed friendly and kind of heart,
So I accepted his invitation.
Such an innocent start
To what could have been devistation.

 

His words seemed genuine and true;
But their deception was well hidden.
It took all I could do
To break free from chains unbidden.

 

We could marry if you’ll do this:
Follow me wherever I go;
We’ll share such love and bliss;
Still his deception did not show.

 

We’ll be together, oh but wait;
Don’t ask too many questions of me;
Come close and stay away;
Commit but let me remain free.

 

And so the confusion marched on,
Until my whole life was undone;
Then came the brightest dawn:
This man is a finagling one.

 

I collected all that remained
Of my self as I left that last day,
Feeling all of the pain,
I courageously went on my way.

 

This was a favor in disguise;
That saved me from injury and sorrow;
Making me much more wise
And preparing me for “tomorrow.”

 

Let my story be a lesson
To any who might trust such a man:
If he brings confusion,
Turn and run as fast as you can!

 

If he tries to take you away
From your family, your friends and your town,
Know there’s a price to pay;
In distress that ever weighs you down.

 

Let me give some friendly advice
That just might help some people at last:
It’s not time to be nice;
Say, “Don’t let the dorr hit your a##”…
On your way out!”

ONE-LINERS

Throughout my life, I have learned a number of “one-liners.”  Many of them have been quite helpful:

“The clearer you are about yourself, the less power others have over you.”

“A dysfunctional system is like flypaper:  There’s no way to engage without getting stuck.”

“The best revenge is to live well.”

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“The first rule of relationships:  Stay out of the middle.”

“When you’re going through Hell, don’t camp there.”

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“Sow tomorrow’s seeds today.”

“A journey is taken one step at a time.”

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