Tag Archive | learning

My Home

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OR

Being at home in my self

The home in which I live
Is simple and clean,
Most of the time, that is.
If you’re living at all,
You know what I mean:
There are always improvements,
Chores to be done;
Rearranging of furniture,
Fixing this thing and that one…
It seems something is always amiss!

I’ve learned to be at peace
In this home of mine.
Most of the time, that is.
If you’re being at all,
We are of one mind:
There is always new learning,
Wounds to be healed,
Discoveries of every nature,
Knowing how to love and feel;
Such is being at home like this.

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Don’t Be Surprised

I started my journey of healing many years ago.

The first leg was a long, steep, difficult path that wound through rocks and thickets so dense, I couldn’t see beyond myself at all.  It’s unpredictability was mind boggling.  I would climb a little higher; then find myself in a hole with no apparent way out.  Some days, I was pleased with what felt like progress, only to fall into a helpless heap of despair the next.

Eventually, the path widened into a road – you know the kind:  Two tracks with plenty of ruts and potholes.  The going was a bit easier and I had more perspective.

I found some nice spots to rest along the way:  Just the right mix of sun and shade, running water near by and soft places for lounging and sleep.

I don’t know how it happened, but I came to another steep, difficult place; in fact, it was more painful and challenging than the first one.  This time, there was no path.  I had to whack my way through the underbrush.  I thought I’d never get through it all!  Perhaps the hardest part was that I blamed myself:  If only I had learned my lesson the first time!  What is wrong with me that I’m back here??

Eventually, I had the pleasure of travelling on wide, well paved roads.  They were straight and level; there were lots of companions.  Loneliness was not even a whisper of a thought.  The camaraderie was wonderful!

Years later, my journey took a turn, and once again, I found myself in a quagmire.  I was dismayed!  This time, I had enough experience and maturity to recognize that this is part of a life-long pilgrimage.  It was still difficult and in some ways, the most painful of all.  I knew what to do:  Keep moving forward, step by step, clearing by clearing.

The moral of my tale?  When you find yourself in a difficult patch, know that you are making progress.  These detours are necessary for continued growth and wellness.  Greet them with dignity; don’t be surprised when they happen.

PATIENCE

Patience is the understanding
That a journey takes a lifetime;
It’s a perspective and perception
That accepts each challenge and sign.
It’s the knowledge that arriving
Is saved for the journey’s end;
That we live and learn and grow
From the moment we begin.
Be patient with yourself
As you make progress along the way:
You’ll arrive at your destination
At just the right time some day.

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER ALMOST MADE

I met him at the swimming pool;
He invited me to share his lane.
His favor seemed so cool
Offered without seeking gain.

 

He seemed friendly and kind of heart,
So I accepted his invitation.
Such an innocent start
To what could have been devistation.

 

His words seemed genuine and true;
But their deception was well hidden.
It took all I could do
To break free from chains unbidden.

 

We could marry if you’ll do this:
Follow me wherever I go;
We’ll share such love and bliss;
Still his deception did not show.

 

We’ll be together, oh but wait;
Don’t ask too many questions of me;
Come close and stay away;
Commit but let me remain free.

 

And so the confusion marched on,
Until my whole life was undone;
Then came the brightest dawn:
This man is a finagling one.

 

I collected all that remained
Of my self as I left that last day,
Feeling all of the pain,
I courageously went on my way.

 

This was a favor in disguise;
That saved me from injury and sorrow;
Making me much more wise
And preparing me for “tomorrow.”

 

Let my story be a lesson
To any who might trust such a man:
If he brings confusion,
Turn and run as fast as you can!

 

If he tries to take you away
From your family, your friends and your town,
Know there’s a price to pay;
In distress that ever weighs you down.

 

Let me give some friendly advice
That just might help some people at last:
It’s not time to be nice;
Say, “Don’t let the dorr hit your a##”…
On your way out!”

NEW TRUTH

When I was a child,
I learned many things;
Some of them were helpful,
The sort that growing brings.
Then there were the others:
“Truth” that seemd to work back then;
The lessons that needed to change
If misery was to end.

 

“My own needs don’t count;
Don’t think, talk or feel.”
Are rules that had to go
So I’d be free to heal.
That I am a person;
Truth of real humanity;
Whole and acceptable as one
Who is learning how to be.

 

Living is a process
Of learning, growth and change;
It’s part of how we’re made;
It really isn’t strange.
As you search for new truth,
Choose paths of discovery
May you encounter in yourself
The strength of recovery.

YET AGAIN

Hook me,
Just like a big fish,
With unkept promises
That are constantly renewed;
Veiled disapproval
That calls me to prove myself
Yet again.

 

Pull me,
On your line of ploys,
Calling me to respond
With the answers you desire;
Using history
To evoke that emotion
Yet again.

 

Draw me
With subtle half-truths;
Sly manipulations
That baffle and confuse me;
Breeches in boundaries
That call me to question self
Yet again.

 

Bait hooks
With fresh disguises
Of concern and offers
Meant to make me feel better
About staying with you,
Though all wisdom says to leave
Yet again.

 

Let me
Pull all the hooks out,
Though the pain is awful;
Causing me to bleed and cry;
Awakening my hope
That I will learn and move on
Yet again.