Wouldn’t it be nice if bullying didn’t exist at all?
Wouldn’t it be nice if it didn’t occur at school, home or in the work place?
In my mind, bullying is abuse, even though some of the articles I have read say otherwise. Any time power is being usurped and used to tyrannize another, abuse is taking place.
Any time one feels unsafe because somebody (or a group of people) is giving them cause to think that their work, health or life is in danger, abuse is taking place.
Any time a person is led to believe that he or she has responsibility for things outside his or her power, abuse is taking place.
My first suggestion for how to deal is, get away if at all possible. Mistreatment such as this causes injury to your soul.
I am thinking of a job I had. The first year seemed fine; then, my supervisor began to find things “wrong.” Not in writing was that he was uncomfortable with my blindness. I actually did leave that position, three months after this abuse began. It took me another several months to recover. One of the greatest temptations was to blame myself, even though all evidence pointed to discrimination, manipulation and bullying on the part of my supervisor.
I have a hard time imagining a situation that would prevent someone from leaving, but if that is the case, you will need to take deliberate measures to see to your care and safety. Make sure you have people in your life who remind you of your dignity, strength and qualities. Build alternatives so that you can eventually leave. If work and income are at stake, do what you have to so that you won’t fall flat if your job ends.
Most of all, take charge of yourself. I used to have a therapist who would counsel me not to give my power away to others. IT took a long time for me to catch on to what he was saying. One primary way we do this is to believe what others say to or about us. IT is amazing how wrong they can be! How you regard yourself is far more important than anybody else’s opinion. After all, you are the one who lives inside your skin; you get the consequences or rewards for your choices; nobody else does.
There are still people who try to bully me, either with words or exclusion. I am finding that my best defense is a clear, strong identity. I know who I am; I am learning not to let the bullies get me down.