November and December can be very difficult for a large number of people:  It’s the holidays, when friends and family supposedly gather to celebrate and enjoy each others company.

Unfortunately, that is not what happens in too many relationships, whether it’s because of abuse, isolation or general dysfunction.

There are some things you can do that might help:

*If you know someone who is a bit isolated during the holidays, invite him or her over.  Sooner is better than later.  when it isn’t a given that one has someplace to go, distress moves in quickly.

*If you are one who tends to be alone, treat yourself well.  I remember reading an article several years ago that said single people need to be their “own best friend.”  Decorate your home; prepare nice meals on real dishes; turn on music, light candles or make the lighting pleasant…

*Be the first to invite or suggest.  Proactivity goes a long way toward insuring that you won’t spend a holiday by yourself.

*If you’re comfortable doing this, find a gathering.  In my town, for example, one of the Churches puts on a huge feast for anyone who wants to attend.  I have a friend who goes every year, just because she enjoys it.

*As always, if you are in relationship with someone who is mistreating or abusing you, get out of it.  There is no easy way to say this, but you won’t fix it and for some reason, holidays seem to set some people off so they behave even more poorly.  Let freedom be your gift to yourself and your children if you have any.

*Whatever you do, take charge of your own choices.  You are a powerful person, who does not have to let circumstances rule your life.


May you have the happiest holiday season ever!


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