People who are being battered and abused are called to believe some lies.  The deal is, lies are nothing but poison; wellness and freedom are found in rejecting them and holding to the truth.  here is a handful of examples –


LIE:  It’s my fault.  If I would just learn not to say anything or….”
TRUTH:  You are not responsible for another person’s behavior; he or she is.

LIE:  I can help him or her to change.
TRUTH:  Really?  Again, the power and responsibility lies with the one who is abusing; not with you.

LIE:  “I deserved that.”
TRUTH:  Nobody deserves to be hit or injured in any way; sleep deprivation, threats, silent treatment, tyranny forced sex and all other kinds of over powering are wrong.

LIE:  He or she loves me.
TRUTH:  no.  People who are healthy enough to love act with kindness and  respect.

LIE:  He or she is the best I can do; no one else would want me.
TRUTH:  It’s time to learn how to love yourself so that you will expect more in your next relationship.

LIE:  Things are okay…really!  Bruises heal; I’m still alive….
TRUTH:  It’s not okay.  The best thing to do is to leave and get to a safe place.  You can get help with sorting your feelings and deciding how to move forward from there.


I truly believe in safety first:  When we are not safe, we can’t address anything else.  Living in abusive situations are unsafe; period; end of story.

If you want to live a whole, happy life, take the first step.  Go to a shelter, to a friend’s house or the home of a safe family member.  Get into some counseling or a survivors group; make sure the one who is hurting you can’t find you or get to you right now.

Believe it or not, taking care of yourself is a giant step in the right direction.

By the way, I have known men who are being abused.  This applies to anyone, regardless of gender.



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