People who are being battered and abused are called to believe some lies. The deal is, lies are nothing but poison; wellness and freedom are found in rejecting them and holding to the truth. here is a handful of examples –
LIE: It’s my fault. If I would just learn not to say anything or….”
TRUTH: You are not responsible for another person’s behavior; he or she is.
LIE: I can help him or her to change.
TRUTH: Really? Again, the power and responsibility lies with the one who is abusing; not with you.
LIE: “I deserved that.”
TRUTH: Nobody deserves to be hit or injured in any way; sleep deprivation, threats, silent treatment, tyranny forced sex and all other kinds of over powering are wrong.
LIE: He or she loves me.
TRUTH: no. People who are healthy enough to love act with kindness and respect.
LIE: He or she is the best I can do; no one else would want me.
TRUTH: It’s time to learn how to love yourself so that you will expect more in your next relationship.
LIE: Things are okay…really! Bruises heal; I’m still alive….
TRUTH: It’s not okay. The best thing to do is to leave and get to a safe place. You can get help with sorting your feelings and deciding how to move forward from there.
I truly believe in safety first: When we are not safe, we can’t address anything else. Living in abusive situations are unsafe; period; end of story.
If you want to live a whole, happy life, take the first step. Go to a shelter, to a friend’s house or the home of a safe family member. Get into some counseling or a survivors group; make sure the one who is hurting you can’t find you or get to you right now.
Believe it or not, taking care of yourself is a giant step in the right direction.
By the way, I have known men who are being abused. This applies to anyone, regardless of gender.