MY RUNNING SHOES

I threw my running shoes away today.  It was a big decision:  This means that, when life gets uncomfortable and I feel overwhelmed, I need to stay present.

I’ve had them for a lot of years.  They were developed through a number of situations, wounds and dynamics that caused me to “exit.”  (Old Snagglepuss had nothing over me!)

There are lots of ways to run:
Physically leaving
Burying oneself in activities and obligations
Becoming so involved in others, there is no room for oneself

Dissociating
Avoiding deep thought or conversation
Drinking and drugging
And oh so many more

Sometimes, running is wise.  If you are in a hurtful situation, please have the good sense to get out of there!

Then, there is the running that hurts instead of helping, when relationships can’t grow or we are so outside of ourselves we can’t be present.  This often happens when we have been through trauma.  At the time, it was a helpful tool, but later, it will kill us, sometimes physically; most times emotionally.

What color are your running shoes?  How do you escape the pain of your past and the challenges of your present?  what will it take for you to throw them away?  Who will help you?

For me, the choice to stop running is wonderful!  I feel whole and free; I can be present to myself and others; joy, peace, hope, love and beauty are mine.

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2 thoughts on “MY RUNNING SHOES

  1. I am a runner too. Runner away from bad situations. I would say my running shoes are green- representing freedom. I have thrown in my trowel in a bad work situation and run as fast as I could from there. Many people call me a coward and I probably am but it was required for me to live, survive and even breathe.
    Because I have always been a runner from bad situations, the bad situations have not hurt me too much. I liked the feeling of joy and giving that it gave me – to think that my bullies and people who created bad situations for me are at least happy now, that I am not there.
    For the present, my challenge is money and I deal with this by writing and making a small income. I have more friends now, after I started writing, than I ever had in my whole life and I have not even seen any of them.

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