I invited you,
At least I thought I did;
But you kept telling me, “no,”
And now I have moved away.

So what has happened?
Did I misunderstand?
Sometimes I don’t trust myself
To know what is me or not.

I looked for a friend;
I looked for ways to join,
But now I find myself here,
Misunderstood and alone.

What could I have done?
Self doubt shouts in my heart.
I tried to be as you want;
I tried to remake myself.

Now I stand confused;
My self lost and broken.
Do I keep inviting you?
Or let go and walk away?


Such ambivalence
Troubles me day and night.
I could have…but I did try;
I wrestle until I know.


And so my struggle
Continues as I mourn
What might have been or could be.
I will heal and try again.


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