Several years ago, when I was at a professional workshop, the presenter said,
“As adults, we must choose: We can keep everything we learned in childhood, swallowing it hook, line and sinker; we can throw it all away or decide what we will keep and what we will let go.”
I like this: It empowers me.
I have also learned that it is much more easily said than done.
It would be simpler by far if I wasn’t sorting in a room full of fun house mirrors: Distortions and illusions are everywhere!
I suppose that everyone has to distinguish falsehood from truth; that’s part of living. It is more difficult if trauma is part of the mix, however: There are so many lies that victims hear: “It’s your fault,” “You are ugly and worthless,” And one of the grand prize winners: “You are responsible for what others say or do.”
So, the sorting job takes on a new twist Throw the lies away and keep (or more likely, learn) what is true. Indeed, I have come to believe that a large part of healing is to find new truth, since so much of what I was taught as a child was completely unreliable.
I have discovered another helpful part: Respect the process; enjoy the journey; hold onto hope.
“Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier’…” Alfred Tennyson