CHECKING IN

I am back to addressing a particularly difficult aspect of surviving trauma, and thought I would try to share some of it:

When I try to check inside, especially if there is something stressful going on, I usually find

ABSOLUTELY
N O T H I N G

I am betting that anyone who has wounds in his or her soul because of trauma, whether it is from abuse, molestation, medical treatment, tragedy, combat or anything else, knows what I am talking about.
Even Numb would be a step up!
If it isn’t that dead space, it’s the opposite: So much chaos and confusion, I can’t sort all of the thoughts, feelings and other “noises” in my heart.

I wish I had great words of wisdom; an instant cure would be nice…
But there isn’t any.
What I do know is this:
As I get healthier, I am more able to identify triggers and take care of myself in “The Dead Zone.”
I have also found that, as I walk through these seasons, I discover more of the self I lost in the trauma or tragedy.
It’s as I heard it said some months ago:
“When you’re walking through Hell, don’t camp there!”
Know that you are only passing through on the way to greater wholeness. Keep going, one step at a time.
Discover the strong, healthy things that work for you and practice them every day.

I am looking forward to my next round of victories in this battle called recovery. I’ll be sure to celebrate!

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