Archive | May 2014

THE MOSAIC

I am a mosaic
Of feelings, thoughts and moods;
Tiny pieces of glass,
Put together
Until there is a picture
Of me.

Cheerful pinks and yellows
Join blues and greens to shine;
Telling happy stories
Of memories
Of hopes, joys, dreams and wishes
To be.

Then there’s whine and purple:
No error in spelling here!
Dark, subdued grays and brown
Set without cheer;
Put there by hard times and pain
In me.

Reds and oranges speak out
To tell of angry thoughts:
Of fear and injustice
Strong words and deeds
Battles lost and victory
To see.

Gold and mauve, black and white
Fill out the picture here
Of places not yet formed;
Yet unconceived,
Where past and future will meet
as me.

OVERCOMING

I am sitting here, thinking of people I have met who have overcome tremendous hardship and trauma.

One person I used to know had run to the woods to live out of traumatic stress. when she became ill, she had to walk back to town. she stayed, and through a long, hard, often frightening process, reclaimed her life.

Then, there is a friend I had when I was in college. She had a form of Muscular Dystrophy. when I first became acquainted with her, she had already started three successful businesses. she lived in contstant pain; she couldn’t move, except for her left hand. If she wasn’t in her power chair, she couldn’t even do that. She still finished her BA and graduated.

I remember another person I knew who had severe agora phobia. she couldn’t go anywhere, unless one or two trusted people took her. With some very hard work and help, she overcame her fear. the last I knew, she was working full time.

Another friend I had in college had been hit by a car, which left her with paraplegia. She has been through many surgeries and struggles. One thing that stands out about her is her sense of humor. One day, she and I were out and about. She told me, “It’s interesting going around at stomach and butt level. You can tell a lot about people that way. For example, when they’re angry, they either squeeze in their stomach or butt. I would love to wheel up to someone and say, ‘Your butt says you’re really angry!’ But then, I’m afraid I couldn’t get away fast enough.”

I have sat with countless people who have faced the trauma and abuse of their pasts. Their accounts are often gut wrenching and terrifying; yet as they tell them, receive comfort and learn new truth, they find victory and healing. I have certainly walked through this process myself. I am grateful for the health and strength I now have.

I recently heard someone say that there is no such thing as a victory without a battle. I believe that.

FROM CONFUSION TO CLARITY

I live with an inner confusion
That makes me hard to read.
Sometimes, it’s a painful undercurrent;
At other times, it speaks very loudly;
Then again, it is often ambivalent and unclear.

I do know where this confusion comes from:
From traumas in my past.
A useful anesthetic at the time,
It has become a hinderance to me now,
Causing mistrust, clouding my thoughts, bringing indecision.

As I heal and get to know myself,
I’m inwardly more clear.
Though my feelings come a bit slowly yet,
And I need time to understand my thoughts,
They are ever being birthed, developing and maturing.

I have learned that I must be patient;
That this is a journey.
Because of their nature, souls heal slowly.
To rush their healing is to injure some more.
Gentle tenderness, rest, careful loving must be used.

I’m pleased with the strength and clarity
That grows within each day.
As a sculpture becomes more tangible;
As poetry takes on meanigful form,
My heart and mind come together in greater unity.

REVENGE

I used to have a therapist who was a one-liner kind of guy. One of his favorite sayings was, “The best revenge is to live well.”
I wrote this poem with him in mind:

I take revenge on my enemies
Who are not people as we know and think of them;
Yet they are real.

I take revenge on my enemies
By loving, forgiving, seeking peace, hope and joy;
By choosing life.

I take revenge on my enemies,
Trauma, abuse, shame, powerlessness, lies and fear
By living well.

As I learn to live abundantly,
All of my enemies are soundly defeated
And I grow strong.

Who You Are

These are the things each person needs to know:
You are precious;
You are uniquely created
You are wonderfully made
You are needed
You are valuable
You have gifts, talents and strenghts
You are whole, including the struggles, flaws, shortcomings, disabilities and frailty you encounter
No one has the right or ability to take your identity from you.
You are powerful

THE TREASURE HUNT

I’ve been told
There’s a treasure somewhere,
So I study the map
and make my plans.

I prepare
Getting equipment and gear;
I buy the right clothing
And set a date.

I arrive
To find a vast expanse;
Will I find anything
That’s valuable?

I press on,
I stumble and get lost;
But I must keep searching
Until it’s mine.

First one place;
Then I try another.
But I only find trash
and cut myself.

Once I find
A beautiful trinket,
So priceless and lovely;
I am encouraged.

such hard work,
But I do some each day.
This treasure’s important:
It’s my self.